Tuesday, 9 January 2007

07-01-2006_07-31-2006

Monday, July 31, 2006

ROFLworthy
In the category of a "too much information keyword search" is this:31 Jul 16:42:02 www.google.com.au durolax tablets what happens if you take too much of them
... I guess you either melt or explode. Depends, I guess... As Bart Simpson would say "eheh, he, he!"
And in the just as good to giggle about category, this. I swear I will never ever touch e-mule or kazaa again!
Then just as I hit "publish" on this, I saw yet another priceless thing. And ad for potato chips, where the guy holds a spud in one hand and eyes off bags of black pepper, then you see cracked black pepper chips in a bowl. Trish and I both watched, and saw that heart(or something)warming scene of some guys rear elevation displaying "tradesman's cleavage" - and we both wondered if it was appropriate with the "cracked" pepper reference earlier.
I've decided I won't try them, I suspect they'll taste too much of anuseed... Now why did that make me think of our Slime Minister?
Categories - ::/:: Edited on: Monday, July 31, 2006 10:53 PMposted at 10:45 PM Ted
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How To Get Sex. (Or at least, get stuffed...)
Don't tell anyone but in the news today I misheard some name as Assul Rabdweef Paprika. I think the name was in relation to Hezbollah but for some reason I was thinking of rump steak Hungarian at the time, and I kind of missed the name as my mind's eye went crazy with that image. Actually, I'd been thinking about that Middle East situation which is probably why I was too preoccupied to hear the name properly.
Because that situation scares the bejeesus out of me. (Sorry Lord...) As I said - the Jews in the USA are all right with selling ground to ground missiles to an Arabian country knowing that if things take a turn for the worse, those same weapons will be used on the Israeli people, who are when all is said and done, Jewish. Yet the USA openly support Israel, to the point where CondieRizza has been told to bugger off and not darken Lebanon's doorstep (or bombed airport) again. And she's so uncosmopolitan that she doesn't even begin to realise how big an insult that is, from a race, a people, to whom open doors means survival, where anyone is welcomed, because open doors meant the difference between life and death in the desert. They've basically told her to FOAD. (Hyperlinked for the acronym-challenged.)
So now you have to wonder at the USA. They aren't welcome in Iran, they aren't welcome in Iraq. Lebanon has just told them (politely, and in locum Condoleeza) to eff off, they are playing a stupid game in which their last allies in the Middle East are going to get mighty pissed off when they realise that the spirit of Ollie North is alive and well, and by now they must have at least two rabidly fanatical fundamentalist terrorist groups out for their asses on a platter.
Thanks to their impeccably hamfisted home policies, at the first sign of trouble the black african americans will wash their hands of them, the Hispanic population will take a step back, Asiatic folks will go home for a holiday, and that will pretty much be all she wrote.
With any luck, John Howard will be hanging out of Bush's nether regions at the precise moment that the Muslim people turn George W inside out and will vanish into nothingness or else be reborn into Paradise as one of the 72 virgins of some particularly nasty gender-confused Muslim martyr. We can but hope. Because, thanks to the Howard Policy Of Suck, we're all going to be tarred with the same brush as our allies. And the Arabs, in a fit of singular generosity, might just say to their Muslim Indonesian brothers "Hey! No more Yankee to keep you out of Australia! Go for it!"
I hope you all speak some Indonesian or Arabic out there...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 9:24 PM Ted
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Sunday, July 30, 2006

Super super su... stuff it...
Watched those loaded ads for superannuation lately? "His super pays fees, his super doesn't..." I watched and did the sums. Two people on around $40,000 each, age 30-something. One's super is $227,000ish, the other is $280,000ish. (Don't quote me, this is from memory and I hadn't really paid a huge amount of attention. Until I did that huge mental double-take...)
The double-take came about because, to begin with, there are a few things that you want to do when you advertise. One of those is that you want to make your product look as good as possible. So these ad clowns would have been the worst of the competitors' schemes versus the best of the home company's. And the mangy shred of difference they coulod come up with from the two outcomes was a tad over fifty thousand.
In other words, in their 30-odd year working life, the fund paying the advert is going to make a bit over $1500 per year more than the worst competitor. Under ideal conditons. And that to me is just not enough reason to change funds. I, along with around half the workforce, am in the twilight side of the age group and have 15 years or less to go, for me the difference at maybe $20,000 is just not enough to warrant moving from the worst investment fund, and since my fund actually doesn't perform all that badly, it would be more like a $3000 to $5000 difference, anyway.
Now just to set the record straight. The same fund also advertises that people closer to $60,000 in income will have a difference of $100,000 over a similar working life. so for $20,000 more, the fund can suddenly find $50,000 more for their investor. That means that by putting 50% more into the fund I should see a 100% improvement in performance. Just something else that makes me suspicious of this particular fund. And their advertising.
In actual fact, I feel that most super funds are a rip-off, and even more so when you consider that these are supposed to be the funds that will fund our retirement and take the pressure off the taxes that people like Mr "Why Don't You Just F*** Off " - who are the very same people pushing the shit out of the investment funds to produce results now so that he and his generation can scrape together enough money to screw his parents over...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 9:10 PM Ted
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Saturday, July 29, 2006

Want Freedom? Get Arrested.
If you think that this couldn't happen here well spare a thought for Prince Leonard of Hutt River Province.
Western Australia has escaped being a British colony, which created the loophole under which Prince Leonard seceded and formed HRP, under the contention that the imposed wheat quotas were unfair, and due to his timing, and some ball-dropping by the government, he finally had his required two year period and became de facto Prince of HRP.

What is scary is that even to this day the Governnment of WA has not actually given HRP any official status, but is not collecting taxes either. They are having their cake and eating it, in a way, and that means that one thing or other they are doing is not legitimate. If the Principality is not an independent Principality then the Government should be taxing HRP's citizens, and if they are not taxing those citizens then they are admitting that they have no legal jurisdiction and HRP is indeed a Principality.
If their claim that HRP is nothing other than a commercial enterpise is true, then they should either have been collecting taxes or else not collecting taxes from anyone else in WA either. You can't just excuse five people on the grounds of being located on a particular plot of land.
What is even more scary is that this "flexibility of the Law" is also being applied in the USA to Russell Kanning - how can someone be accused of disorderly conduct when it was the arresting officers who were actually causing disturbances? Especially the second time, they had absolutely no grounds for arresting and charging Russell.
Can you see how worrisome it can be, seeing someone arrested in the USA for claiming that his taxes are being put to treasonable use and asking the government agents to resign on this count, and seeing that a similar situation here resulted in another "grey area" of our own laws, and by extension seeing that if we here objected to anything our Government was doing, we too could be arrested on some pretext?
On re-reading that I realise I didn't make it clear. It's that Governments are very liberal in their interpretations of the Law when it suits them, and this is what makes it prudent for people to keep a weather eye on their Government's activities and sound alarms when something isn't right. For Mr Kanning, the unfairness arose from the way the US Government misused their interpretation of the Law to arrest Mr Kanning - twice - and that you will agree is not an equitable situation.
In the case of WA, there is Governor Stirling's original omission of the State of Western Australia from his declaration, meaning that really, only the settlement around the Swan River is part of Her Majesty's Empire. Yet the British Law was applied to the whole State nonetheless. That's a very liberal interpretation of a law intended to legitimise the taking over of foreign lands, and should have been resolved centuries ago.
Also in the case of WA, and Australia in general, there is the matter of the status of Hutt River Principality. Does it exist, or is it just one man's escape from the yoke? And if it does not exist, then why is one Law applied to it and another to the rest of Western Australians living outside the original Swan River Settlement?
Again in the case of Australia in general, (and given the sheer amount of untruths, reversals, and deliberate misrepresentations given to us by various Government officials and in particular the Prime Minister,) the question is whether we have the right to protest such shadowy areas, or if, like the USA, we are then in danger of being arrested by the very Government employees whom we are holding to account? Because if we can be arrested for raising such matters, then Australia ceases to be a democracy and becomes a dictatorship, benign or otherwise...
"Watch out, watch out, watch out..."
Categories - ::/:: Edited on: Saturday, July 29, 2006 4:38 PMposted at 11:49 AM Ted
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Friday, July 28, 2006

I want a rate dropped out!
Dear Microsoft Consumer!
Within the limits of advertising company Microsoft has played USD 1000000 between the clients. The choice occured in the casual image. On yours e-mail the monetary prize at a rate of USD 52346 has dropped out. To receive it, it is necessary for you to visit ours Resolution Centre and to fill the small form.
Please click here to visit the Microsoft Resolution Centre
Corporation Microsoft congratulates you on a prize and that you and in the further will use our development hopes.
Microsoft Corporation
Spam / phishing email classes 101: Work for your money, get someone that knows the language to write the email for you...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 10:04 PM Ted
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Thursday, July 27, 2006

The Lie of the Land. This week, it's:
Shit! Apparently the Internet ensnares kids in a "Web Of Food" and makes them obese, bananas are to blame for inflation, and cutting airtime for junkfood ads will fix the health system. I never knew it was so simple, but on reflection, it's obvious!
Bananas are a food, right? Yeah, so they obviously cause waistline inflation. It's a cute idea, that our CPI is tied to the cost of bananas and petrol, and therefore we now have inflation. It wouldn't have anything to do with that propensity for printing more money than we have the wherewithal to cover would it? Actually, blaming bananas is probably one of the best porkie pies John and Peter have pulled off recently.
I mean, letting a pack of assholes get away with fuel price rorts so that the government's slice of tariff gets larger would never cause prices of everything transported by or produced by fuel driven engines to rise would it?
And I am not happy to trust the government to cut back on the amount of airtime made available to junk food. I mean, given their track record of substituting bullshit for policies, how the hell would they know an honest wholesome food if it jumped up and bit them on the arse? It's just an alien concept to our government, the whole idea of wholesomeness got left behind in the petty bickering, the pissing competitions, and the scramble to screw us over for as many different forms of tax dollars as they could invent in their stupid Monopoly game.
Who wrote our food labelling laws? So that manufacturers can just leave out 50% of the ingredients in their so-called "foods" because each of those ingredients is less than the magic five percent below which an ingredient is considered "negligible?" Have these pricks ever heard of cyanide? Cop five percent of that in your cup of java you bastards, then tell us - posthumously of course - that it was fucking "negligible!"
And the best part, of course, is that they will make it all true - no-one will doubt that bananas and petrol caused the Depression of 2007, exacerbated by the amount of fat kids with no self-control spending the remaining GNP on McToxics and Chicken Threat, and the Internet made them that way and that's why we had to filter everything coming into the country a la China, and censor everything else...
No-one will consider that the atrocious ball-less people who in the last few years completely ruined any chance we had at getting food labelling laws right, might be responsible for the deaths of tens of thousands of people with diet related diseases every year. They won't be remembered as the people who let fuel companies bend them over, screw them over and then overcharge them, oh no - they'll be remembered as the brave (and, for a decision such as this, minimally if not negatively intelligent) few who made the solemn and totally forseeable prediction that rising petrol prices would lead to inflation. Don't bullshit because someone whipped you ass at hardball you wimps.
As they lie dying of diabetes and coronary conditions and a range of other illnesses, I wonder how many people will realise that it's thanks to John And The Glorious Screw - um The Glorious Crew, sorry, that they're on their deathbed? I predict it's those that realise that bananas are only a food, petrol is only one source of energy, and chemicals in food cause more needless deaths than cars speeding around our suburbs at 50kmh.
Categories - ::/:: posted at 11:22 PM Ted
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Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Silly things to do.
Two silly things now.
First, if you're Ingvar Kaemprad's favourite company, you should probably avoid having your ad shot in Australia. "Kitchens and blinds are boooring!"
Which is fine, I appreciate that the famous "ballroom" made Ikea a happier place for parents and kids alike. But why then do they have to use the odd juxtaposition of "I hafta go toilet!" immediately followed by a shot of food from the restaurant? You know, I used to like those Swedish meatballs once, but now I'm inclined to look a little bit warily at them. Well done marketing genius...
Second is if you hand out a free program called SmileyCentralSetup2.1.50.3-3.ZSxdm599.exe - well if you do that, and if you are determined to put a piece of greyware into your installer, for chrissakes don't be so blase as to leave all this in the fileinfo:
Type of file: ApplicationDescription: My Web Search Bar Installer
Hmmm... I know about this because I installed it on a laptop for a customer before, and then spent a week uninstalling all the crap that follows. I just found out from that same friend that they downloaded the smileycentral app again and this time they saw that before they installed it... So it's true, they honestly can't even be bothered to hide the malware their software installs...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 9:21 PM Ted
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Izzie, go home...
You know it. I find religion to be a little bit of misplaced trust in what boils down to, after all is said and done, a bunch of people who place themselves in positions of intermediacy between us and what they claim is the gods. I especially find fanatical religious zealotry to be distasteful and abhorrent. I mean, I don't know if God exists or if He's called Fred, Sarah, or Xyzzgon111.
I know that the Universe is fragile and beautiful and probably impossible unless some kind of God exists, and I know that instead of arguing over what the *right* way to live is, we should be going ahead and doing it.
Even worse, I'm on the junction between Western life, Middle Eastern childhood, and a religion that came from Judaism. So things like this article leave me thankful and yet in a confused state.
Some other news - apparently Bahrain has just shaken hands on an order of 60 missiles and all the parpahenalia to train ther forces to deliver them. From the USA. Now excuse me for being confused, but - we know where Saudi Arabia stands on the matter of Israel vs Lebanon. And if it comes down to it, me too. Some of the best people I've known have been Lebanese.
And we know that the Israelis are the same Jewish people who partly own the USA. So the American Jews are selling weapons to a Saudi country which will if push comes to shove array themselves against Israel. Am I the only one seeing an irony here?
Also, I thought that initially, Israel had a legitimate bitch at Hezbolla. A kidnapped soldier, all that. Not that Hezbolla would consider that soldier anything other than a prisoner, an enemy they'd captured. And there's no law that says that Hezbolla has to abide by the Geneva Convention regarding treatment of prisoners of war, so really there's no fallback there either.
But now both sides are taking a huge toll on their soldiers, civilians, infrastructure, and facilities. At this point it's gone from a war to another foaming-mouthed religious war, and that sucks. Lebanon should consider throwing their asshole Hezbolla party out for good, and Israel should go away and get a bloody life, preferably one that includes some moral values...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 6:48 PM Ted
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Bad security, good jets, crap costumes, evil poisons, and vampires.
First, a little story on something close to my heart - security. I mean, who wouldn't want to take a course on making your system more secure? But would you go to this course?
Next a little toy I think is both overkill and ubercool...
On the trail of weird and wonderful I came across these - Costumes, poisons, and vampire spiders, oh my.
Who says we don't have any interesting news these days?
Categories - ::/:: posted at 6:19 PM Ted
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Two links
Two bits to link to - blogsinspace again, and a link to an old old old long-lost friend...

And the other long-lost buddy...


Ah I have missed Astalavista babelfish!
Categories - ::/:: Edited on: Wednesday, July 26, 2006 2:44 PMposted at 2:36 PM Ted
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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Ha!
Ha! So there!
"I told you so!" (And nothing to do with yesterday's article...)
Categories - ::/:: posted at 6:32 PM Ted
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Monday, July 24, 2006

Our birthrate, economics, and what a brain is for.
One of the lovely things on TV are those pat little animations. "Now here we have the most complex machine on Earth, a human brain" and the graphic on the screen rotates and the aforementioned organ wiggles lasciviously at the viewer. And a damn funny thought strikes me. Somewhere. Not necessarily the brain, as you'll see...
A few hundred years ago the heart was regarded as the seat of emotion and thought, the home of the soul. Then along came some spoilsport medical professionals and the heart was relegated to the role of a pump, a damn fine one, yes, but still just a meat equivalent of the Onga that waters your reticulated garden. Damn! Where has romance gone? (hehehe another cheap joke, yes. But innit good to get so many free cheap shots? Yeahhhh.,..)
We now look back on the Socratic era as a time when people had some really strange ideas about where intelligence and identity came from. They had the right idea, just displaced about two feet South...
Now I wonder if at some remove into the future, we'll also get that little epithet as our successors work out that the brain is just a process control black box that operates our bodies and acts as an interface to the souls and intelligence. It kind of makes sense, becasue these days some people are clearly thinking with their arse.
We don't need more babies, we need a responsible governmment that doesn't keep inflating our money! If the amount of dollars had been kept to the amount that was required to cover our national wealth, we'd right now be shitting all over the rest of the world as far as wealth goes. Instead of trying to make our wealth stretch into ever thinnier and thinner dollar-shaped slices, we would be better off if we'd just kept to less slices in the first place. And now, calling for more bodies to feed the spiral is just plain effing stupid.
Whether our politicians are ready to face it or not, whether they believe it or believe it not, Australia is in the grip of a drought, and there is a global warming event coming that we may not even survive. The fertile area of our wheatbelt is slowly shrinking, and that means that even if we do have income for the other resources we're able to dig up and sell, when it comes to water and food every other country will have us by the short and curlies. Because, of course, every other kind of agriculture is being similarly squeezed.
Asking for your people to produce more mouths to feed on the pretext that having more people will make dry infertile land arable again is a bit laughable. (But probably not as laughable as once again listening to and believing a politician who has either proveably lied or else is proveably not supported by his Prime Minister.) Wouldn't it be far better to find new crops that have less impact and need less water, maintain the population at feedable levels in the meanwhile, ride the drought and the warming out, and maybe even come out at the end of it all as one of the countries that saved the world instead of one of the stupid countries that perished from it?
The other reason a politicain could have for wanting to breed more Aussies is to thin the wealth out to the point where the average share of the national wealth drops to something more like citizens of a third world country might own, i.e. 9/10ths of 5/5ths of stuff-all of it, and then they could stop importing overseas workers because we'd work for less than they do. See? There IS method in John Howard's mad Industrial Reform...
By overpopulating Australia, we too can end up like the USA with literally millions of families living below the poverty line and willing to lick shit off pavements in return for five dollars a week. We too will have access to an unending workforce that is born, works, and dies, without all those awkward things in between like wanting rights or conditions. The ideal utopia for a handful of haves, isn't it?
I keep saying "WATCH OUT!" whenever I see yet another attempt being made to reduce our personal values and standards. The really simple reason for that is that these are things that look fine now, but will end up sucking more and more as more and more of them pile up on you. Please don't make me have to say "Told you so..."
Categories - ::/:: Edited on: Monday, July 24, 2006 10:49 PMposted at 10:33 PM Ted
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TEdADYNE Systems
Puh-leeease! Nothing irritates me more than hearing someone discuss stuff I blogged about years ago, as though it was big news... I don't want medals or anything but they could have saved the bandwidth and just pointed to my articles, really they could have...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 1:39 PM Ted
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Friday, July 21, 2006

How Readable Is YOUR Blog?
I've just been pleasantly surprised. With a Gunning-Fog Index of 7.07 and a Fleisch-Kincaid of 3.99, that makes TEdALOG Lite a pretty clear and easy to read blog. Probably a little bit too simplistic, but it's always good to have metrics for absolutely everything and then compare results over time, it helps one to refine things. In this case, I've been struggling to reduce my Fog Index to something below 11, which was what the blog read like around a year ago. I didn't have a Fleisch Index to compare to, but 3.99 is also not too bad.
It means that someone with 3.99 years of schooling should be able to keep up with the blog's material. A year ago, I bet the Fleisch would have been around 8. I've been kind of aiming to reduce the number of long and difficult words but - my tendency to want to be a smart-ass keeps me putting totally redundant verbiage into my articles, and I think I've done well to keep that at the back of my mind when writing articles.
So -- where can you go to rate ANY web accessible content? Try http://juicystudio.com/services/readability.php and see what your blog scores. Remember - if you have a blog that deals in specialist matters then a higher F-K or G-F is perfectly acceptable. But also remember that 2001 A Space Odyssey was scripted for an average reading age of 12 (back then the ARA was the only indocator in town) - and most people of adult age had a hard time understanding and absorbing it... It's a fact that most TV shows are scripted for an ARA of 7, and most movies hover around 9-10. That equates to a F-K of 2.0 - 4.0.
Happy self-critiqueing!
Categories - ::/:: Edited on: Friday, July 21, 2006 7:59 PMposted at 7:41 PM Ted More Comments: (2)
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Thursday, July 20, 2006

MSN talks to Yahoo!
Big Deal! Okay, for those of you who are into the Microsoft Live stuff this IS big deal but I have news for you.
Microsoft Live, guess what? I already can have one messenger to talk to both MSN and Yahoo buddies. And ICQ buddies, Jabber buddies, AIM buddies, and as many IRC servers and channels as I can handle. And I get to carry my communicator around on my keyring...
The secret is Miranda IM. Miranda Instant Messenger is now what I'd consider a mature product and works pretty damn well. Right off the bat, this little program worked for me.
About two years ago I first saw Miranda on some site and read up on it. As I'm someone who has a fondness for PC-independent software, that was the first thing that caught my eye. (yep I've had several PCs self-destruct and take all my hard-gleaned programs with them. And yep, it sucks.) One of the claims of Miranda was that you could run it on a USB stick. Hmmm... Or a common folder on a VPN network...
Long story cut short - I installed that early version and enjoyed a portable IM client which talked to MSN, Yahoo, ICQ, Jabber, AIM, and IRC servers. Not a bad haul for a freebie. On the downside it didn't do avatars or emoticons, and file transfer suck-started jet engines.
But for a while now, Miranda has improved each area except the emoticons. File transfers now just work like they should, avatars show up and can be used and will show up for your respondent, and the few bothersome crash type bugs have been fixed, it's now as stable as you care to demand.
Categories - ::/:: posted at 11:31 PM Ted
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Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Today's Waste Of Time
Give it a chance, it gets to be funner the further you go! Or try this, I actually find this one to be quite amusing.
Today's stoopid waste of time brought to you by Liam Bartlett - another stoopid waste of time, and soon to replace Richard Carleton on Sixty Minutes.
Great! Now that Baby Li is on Sixty Minutes it's gonna take two hours to watch... Or at least will feel like it...
Better yet, go find stoopid games like the one above instead of watching Liam do for Sixty Minutes what John Howard is doing for Australia.
Categories - ::/:: Edited on: Wednesday, July 19, 2006 11:23 PMposted at 11:19 PM Ted
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Tuesday, July 18, 2006

Torvill and Dean
have a new name for their show - "Carnage On Ice"....
Categories - ::/:: Edited on: Wednesday, July 19, 2006 12:19 AMposted at 8:34 PM Ted More Comments: (2)
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Sunday, July 16, 2006

More crap ads, end of days, and other linked concepts
I'm thinking how the Last Days as prophesied by Christians everywhere, may be at hand. I've seen the ads plastered around various prominent spots and suddenly, it's hit me - what if the "nutters" are right? After all, we have more ID numbers today to uniquely identify us than at any other time. Maybe the infamous Mark Of The Beast is just that, a unique identification. If so, then we've had it since Social Security. Or maye the MOTB is something even more unique such as the DNA sequence. In that case, we are very close to the MOTB because we already have the human genome pretty well mapped, and more important than having a unique number is having the capability to read that unique ID.
It may just be me but is that sheep in the RAMS ads not very Ba'al-like in the way it just appears everywhere, then tries to make people sign their lives and souls away to lifelong torment and exploitation by banks in return for a semblance of security? When demonic figures like that start making open appearances in our everyday TV and exhorting the advantages of submitting your life to the financial world's equivalent of Hell, surely the Last Days can't be far away?
Ironically enough, I used to be a Catholic but I recovered, got better, and now consider myself an agnostic, and it's the very atheist ads and attitudes that I'm seeing which make me want to start praying again... Yep, those c... ads are getting to me again. The RAMS sheep is one of the most irritating, I mean, come on, its a bloody SHEEP for chrissakes - one of the dumbest animals on the Earth, and you're going to listen to it for financial advice? Aarrghh!
All these stupid APIA ads with the stupid woman with the fastest speech outside of auctioneer class, now doing a "panel show" with a bunch of my (I'm ashamed to say) contemporaries who are doing their best to cut each other to shreds and laughing like a pack of jackasses while doing it - where's the dignity, the compassion, the (dammit! No other word for this!) Christianity of any of that?
And the "Every day's another day" series of ads from the Commonwealth bank? Geez really? Every day's another day? Well stuff me! I'd never have thought of that! What's even more arrogant is that they are telling people that this young boy is going to have a life just like ours, when this is the period of history in which the smallest number of generations has seen the largest amount of change in lifestyle, technology, weather, and the face of the Earth than at ANY other time of history, recorded or not. Our kids are not even going to start the same jobs we started as kids, let alone have a career path even remotely similar. How can anyone say they'll be "there" for these kids, when we don't even know if the concepts of money and work will still hold up in a decade?
Oh and there's the lovely ads touting all the foods with "97% fat free" and "(insert 'healthy' ingredient here) added!" and "real fruit!" and... Yeah well, you get the idea... Let me add to that only the following: Each of these foods may well include the touted additive. But they also include a dozen other additives which are decidely unhealthy, and actually do more damage than the so-called "beneficial" ingredient.
Having studied and researched for my diet book, I've decided that the greatest factor contributing to the rise of obesity, diabetes, and cancers today, the adulteration of food is the one single contributing factor. I'm not even going to qualify that, because it's the only truth in the world today. Manufacturers are already visiting the Plagues on you and me and every person in the developed world, and the results will make several of the visions of Dante look like a picnic in the park.
So - yep, this could very well be the End of Days. Just to be on the safe side, I'm going to start being really really good...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 8:38 PM Ted
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Saturday, July 15, 2006

For the people looking for pomegranate
I'm seeing a lot of people hitting this blog looking for pomegranate juice and prostate cancer related matters. Please - check out the Body Friendly Zen Cookbook at www.zencookbook.com, there is a free E-Book for download there which will get you started in the right direction, and the full book will be there soon. See, if you're looking for pomegranate juice you're only looking for s fraction of the solution, let my book show you more.
Pomegranate, selenium, lycopene, and a range of other compounds are involved in a proper diet. I know it has worked for me and I am now free of the threat of prostate cancer, and I believe that it is also going to do wonders for a range of cancers including cervical and uterine, and that it has also worked to alleviate some of the symptoms of type 2 diabetes. I welcome any feedback on the site at www.zencookbook.com and will be opening up a more sophisticated site there in the future.
The site is on a slow link at this point, I hope to speed things up in the very near future. But do go and take a look, it will be the most positive step you can take if you want to live a healthy life.
Categories - ::/:: posted at 9:59 PM Ted
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Friday, July 14, 2006

Oh Wow - Revelation!
Finally, I think I've had that Eureka Moment. I can tell you...
... What no analyst can tell you, no economist can predict, and no politician tell without at least fibbing. Just a little bit. You know, for the good of, eh-hem, the country. Or *COUGH*the coffers. You know.
Yep, I'm talking about the price of petrol, and how to predict it. Don't let the TV stations give you their ridiculous analyses. The reporters with stars (and stripes) in their eyes don't know shit about the price of petrol really.
The petrol companies, they do it because they can. Oh and because they get pretty much free rein from the Government despite the "serious efforts" being made to find out if the petrol companies are screwing us. (Remember what politics is about according to John Howard? Light beginning to dawn?)
Of course they are. But they're having to line up behind the Government, who are getting an absolute shyteload of tariff out of the price hikes. Why should they make any effort to stop the screw turning? Strikes me as very counterproductive if they said they'd stop it - and then did...
So I can tell you, after watching the poor Lebanese getting the crap bombed out of them because of their Hizbollah faction not giving a shit about anything but their fanatical causes, I could tell you - even before the news announcer put on her best bad news face and said it - that the price of petrol was going to go up again. It goes up in direct proportion to the length of John Howard's nose. (By the way, Hizbollah - way to go you guys, get the shit bombed out of your country and then go and kidnap a few more Israeli soldiers. Yeah, that'll show 'em!)
So brace yourselves everyone - each time John Howard takes a dump, the price of petrol will hike to cover the amount of toilet paper needed to clean up all that crap, each time Peter Costello has a leak the price of petrol will go up so that someone else can throw more fuel on the fire, and every time one of George W Bush's business dealings goes public (oh no - I can feel another retraction coming on) and goes belly up, (yep - definitely another retraction on the way) the price of petrol will buck a bit.
Because, you know, we give our government permission to do that to us. By not doing something constructive like voting the liars and gougers out of the top positions, we're telling them that it's alright, we don't mind, it only hurts a little bit. It's Time people! Time to stop lying to ourselves. This is not a government, it's a freaking parody. Joseph Heller himself couldn't have writtten a more Catch-22 government.
Categories - ::/:: Edited on: Friday, July 14, 2006 11:06 PMposted at 10:56 PM Ted
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Thursday, July 13, 2006

Oh Crap. Retraction.
I just realised that the other day when I posted that article running down John Howard, I may have been a little bit harsh on him and said some thing that isn't in fact true. I guess I'd better correct that before it becomes a problem:
Contrary to what I posted, John Howard did not say "bite me you clueless cattle!"
(At least, not in public...)
Categories - ::/:: posted at 4:51 PM Ted
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Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Oh dear - I was going to ignore John Howard's lies....
I was. But I guess I lied. As John Howard says, "bite me you clueless cattle!"
The feeling here at the TEdALOG house is that I should probably stand for election now. But I don't want to stand for a boring seat and then work my way up through the rank and file. Of course, I'll say that just to get elected, but in reality, I'll forget about that before the last vote's been counted and head straight for that plush velvet throne in Politician-land. After all, that's the way it's done, isn't it? Lie lie and lie some more?
Okay - if anyone has any advice on how I can achieve that please leave a comment. I will of course tell you that I'll take you to Kirribilli with me, and of course I'll mean it as much as John when he promised us a better health system and no tax increases... And you'll of course believe me, and in ten years you'll tell it to some reporter while you're bitter and miserable and plotting my overthrow. And of course I'll say you're full of shit even if you did manage to become my right hand for years.
So based on the "New Truth" as espoused by the legal Goverment of Australia (you DID follow that link above and read it all didn't you? Don't bullshit me now. I can tell...) I herewith set forth my platform from which I hope to zoom to the Number One seat in the theatre:
I will not have John Howard executed for treason to his country.
I will not have John Howard executed for stealing from the poor, the aged, and the infirm.
Instead, I will ensure that John Howard gets a fair trial and lives out the rest of his days in the opulence he so richly deserves.
I will not have the rest of the Howard family imprisoned and confiscate the entire Howard fortune and give back the $50,000 or whatever it is that he's by now fucked every one of us over for.
I will stay in power for at least as long as John Howard but I will not become as cynical, untruthful, deceitful, and evil as he did. I'm made of stronger stuff...
So there's my platform. Anything else I manage to steal scheme beguile or just plain take away from you will be merely coincidental to my quest to become as much of a scoundrel and outright prevaricator as John or Peter or indeed pretty much any Liberal politician.
Do I have your vote? I won't forget it...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 7:43 PM Ted
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Saturday, July 08, 2006

Memory Of... Ummmm... Something...
Was just reading intersting factoid number 57gazillion on the wrappers of those - anyway, not important. All I know i sthat I read there that the word "dude" was invented by Oscar Wilde and his mates fromt the words "duds" and "attitude." Just like that. For years I've been labouring under the misapprehension that this was one of those insoluble dillemas, that no-one actually knew.
And now, here was that factoid, printed in blue on white, among the five other factoids. It was all too much for me. I decided to look it up on the 'net.
But then I got scared - what if EVERY reference I found online bore out the Libra researcher's words? Did that mean then, that my mates and I as younger blokes were too stupid to find that reference? Did it perhaps mean that wossnames, um, Alzheimer's, had struck me and caused me to misremember my past? Or did it mean that the person who put the entry in Wikipedia had just read that same liner and decided it was authoritive?
It kind of put me in mind of the two great truisms: "Winners write the history books" and "It's just as you remember it." In the case of history books, we know that this is true because this generations doesn't even have history books. History is indeed a malleable thing - like, after six months you can make it look like that tosser from Accounts was the one that put salt in the smoko room sugar bowl, if you've half a mind to try it - which kind of proves that very neatly.
And it's been shown that our memories are very much a case of "use it or lose it" insofar as if you don't remember a memory often enough, it will fade. And if you remember a memory often enough but deliberately change a detail of it, eventually *that* memory will be the one you accept as the Gospel truth. Yes there are occasional "flashes" where a single memory is triggered but that's because "fade" is a matter of degree.
History books fade when someone re-publishes them often enough with a deliberately changed detail, and eventually when all the old history books have fallen apart, they too become the Gospel truth.
How fragile a thing a "proud heritage" is founded on! How ephemeral, a thing you did but yesterday! How scary, to realise that the past may just as well have never existed for all the good our "records" do us...
And now I'll go to sleep again, the Eureka moment, if indeed there was an Eureka moment, has passed. And I still don't remember a time when an hour's sleep might have been all I needed...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 2:37 AM Ted
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Friday, July 07, 2006

THE LARK PROGRAM
Wonder if it could be made to work here?
A Lady libertarian wrote a lot of letters to the White House complaining about the treatment of a captive insurgent (terrorist) being held in Guantanamo Bay . She received back the following reply:
The White House1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Washington , D. C. 20016
Dear Concerned Citizen,
Thank you for your recent letter roundly criticizing our treatment of the Taliban and Al Quaeda detainees currently being held at Guantanamo Bay , Cuba . Our administration takes these matters seriously and your opinion was heard loud and clear here in Washington .
You'll be pleased to learn that, thanks to the concerns of citizens like yourself, we are creating a new division of the Terrorist Retraining Program, to be called the "Liberals Accept Responsible Killers" program, or LARK for short. In accordance with the guidelines of this new program, we have decided to place one terrorist under your personal care. Your personal detainee has been selected and scheduled for transportation under heavily armed guard to your residence next Monday.
Ali Mohammed Ahmed bin Mahmud (you can just call him Ahmed) is to be cared for pursuant to the standards you personally demanded in your letter of complaint.
We and the Red Cross will conduct weekly inspections to ensure that your standards of care for Ahmed are commensurate with those you so strongly recommended in your letter.
Although Ahmed is a sociopath and extremely violent, we hope you are sensitive to what you described as his "attitudinal problem" and will help him overcome these character flaws. Perhaps you are correct in describing these problems as mere cultural differences. We understand that you plan to offer counseling and home schooling.
Your adopted terrorist is extremely proficient in hand-to-hand combat and can extinguish human life with such simple items as a pencil or nail clippers. We advise that you do not ask him to demonstrate these skills at your next bridge game. He is also expert at making a wide variety of explosive devices from common household products, so you may wish to keep those items safely locked up, unless (in your opinion) this might offend him.
Ahmed will not wish to interact with you or your daughters (except sexually), since he views females as a subhuman form of property. This is a particularly sensitive subject for him and he has been known to show violent tendencies around women who fail to comply with the new dress code that he will recommend as more appropriate attire. I'm sure you will come to enjoy the anonymity offered by the burka -- over time.
Just remember that it is all part of "respecting his culture and his religious beliefs" -- wasn't that how you put it?
Please keep in mind that Ahmed will insist on your undivided attention and will attempt to commit suicide in order to get your attention. Don't take this personally, it is just a form of expressing himself in a style that suits him.
Should he succeed in killing himself, you have to expect to be badmouthed in the NY & Taliban Times and various other Anti-US media.
Thanks again for your letter. We truly appreciate it when folks like you keep us informed of the proper way to do our job.
You take good care of Ahmed - and remember. we'll be watching.
Good luck!
Cordially,your friend,Don Rumsfeld
Categories - ::/:: posted at 5:25 PM Ted
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A Dissertation On The Lucky Country No More
For some reason, after I watched the news tonight I started thinking pretty gloomy thoughts. Maybe because employees of a construction company are being sued for standing up for one of their own, it just reminded me too much of what happens in a country which has been defeated and taken over, the victors then find ever more creative ways to depersonalise the defeated and reduce them to the status of non-persons.
Having come here as a kid in the 60's I was aware of how powerful a social force war is - because even then, almost twenty years after the war and more than my short lifetime ago, I was still The Hun, The Kraut, The Gerry. And we'd lost, so I lost...
When Charles Court took our house (and the houses of other Wittenoomites) away from us that just confirmed that I lived in a country which no longer cared about it's citizens except to see how far they could depersonalise them. I remember that I was surprised that the Australian government was doing that to its own citizens.
Since then I've watched it repeated over and over, a referendum ignored here, an Act passed there, each one whittling away some more basic rights, some more basic freedoms. I think I've mentioned those here in this blog before.
Notice we have very few firearms? That's because the Americans originally insisted on the right to bear arms not to defend their government from an enemy, but to defend themselves from their government should it become necessary. Thanks to rapacious greed and stupidity, that particular experiment failed. But the principle remains, that the price of freedom is eternal vigilance. Over your government...
Because, as I started this article out saying, here are these hundred workers having the justice system abused against them, having laws which were passed in a very undemocratic manner served on them by the police force (who, significantly, only relatively recently started bearing arms of their own,) to be made examples of. For the poor struggling multibillion dollar companies, you know?
For some reason Klaus Barbie came to mind then, and yep, he too was a superb liar and a brilliant manipulator, (although he was a bit better looking that John Howard) and also someone who obviously got a kick out of kicking people when they were down. And I know it's probably not fair to one of them to compare the schemings of Kalus to the dealings of John, but I guess I am getting all confused - Third Wave legislation, Third Reich manipulation, it's easy to get them mixed up.
I so wish Australians would wake up... You're having the wool pulled, the piss taken, and that little bald myopic shithead is pissing hinmself laughing at how he's got an entire nation assuming the position. Come on, if you're all that gullible vote for me and I'll put a chicken in every pot, a car in every garage, fuel in every tank, a root in every bed, and green cheese on the moon! At least if you voted for me you'd be denying a vote to the worst thing that's ever happened to civil liberty in Australia.
Categories - ::/:: posted at 12:44 AM Ted
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Thursday, July 06, 2006

Open Letter To Website Owners
Hi,
I am currently trying to gain some exposure for my diet book "The Body Friendly Zen Cookbook" which is a very effective diet which deals mainly with prostate cancer but which is also effective against several other cancers and inflammations, atherosclerosis, and type 2 diabetes, due to the cellular mechanism the diet works on. I have tested the diet on myself against early stages of prostate cancer with excellent results, and my partner has found good results against type 2 diabetes and high cholesterol. The CSIRO is going to perform more stringent tests in 2007, and the book is being published as an E-Book from the website, with a free limited edition of the E-Book available from the links given below.
You will be able to provide access to a valuable resource to visitors to your site, and I will get some much-needed exposure for the diet which I believe will conquer a whole range of preventable illnesses and deaths. Since your website deals in health-related issues this will be another useful link to place.
If you go to http://www.zencookbook.com/DL/pull1.htm you will find there the code for links to place the button and link of your choice on your site. The landing page is http://www.zencookbook.com/DL/index.htm if you want to go take a look, also, if you would like a link on this landing page or elsewhere on the site please contact me and provided you have placed the link prominently I'll do a reciprocal link for you.
Please help a worthwhile health initiative by placing a link to a free E-Book, help me to spread the message. Thank you for your time.
Be gentle on the pre-release site, it's set up on the end of a very bad ADSL connection but will soon shift to professional hosting.
Categories - ::/:: Edited on: Thursday, July 06, 2006 4:44 PMposted at 4:30 PM Ted
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Sunday, July 02, 2006

Boomer/Gen Y - All Out Hilarity
Hehehe just watching this on 60 Minutes. Very droll. Not prepared to wait to inherit? Geez kids, guess what? We worked for 40 years on average to get what we have now - you think at 20 to 30, having worked for what, 5 to 8 years, you are owed all that? Get real...
Why are there "Boomer Icons" out there? Because they have worked for 30 years to become icons, that's why. I guess what I'm trying to say, snotty-nosed little tykes, is that in order to be a 50 year old success you have to be 50 years old first, and there ain't no shortcuts to that other than - you guessed it - living the fucking fifty years first...
So get over yourselves, get your shit together, and get on with your lives. Don't think you can have what we worked our entire lives for, without working your life first...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 8:11 PM Ted
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Fresh, Unique Keyword Searches (FUKS)
Fresh, Unique Keyword Searches (FUKS):
tuckertimekakulassoup ad spellpomegranate juice for salezen prostate cookbooktoothpaste nauseafifa countriesponcho patterns for 10 year old girlsdome coffee perthpomegranate juicefresh pomegranate juice in australiakiwi brand knivesangry almondstilnoxshopping for pomegranate juicestilnoxmagna oil filter pricerecipes, rissoni kakulas
At least the balance has shifted, and it's good to see people looking for the diet book. Now for someone to outlay some money, so I can afford a web developer to work the diet book site over...
Categories - ::/:: posted at 2:21 PM Ted
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Saturday, July 01, 2006

Eon8?
Must be an online puzzle but I'm not sure - there's a lot of discussion on a few gamer sites but very little real information. Whatever, the clock ticks to zero at midday today. There's a few blocks of encrypted characters in the page source, and in the so-called "deployment logs" but I'm no crypto. Will wait and see what happens I guess.
Categories - ::/:: posted at 9:58 AM Ted
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