Friday, 26 June 2009

Heartfelt Plea From A Special Needs Mom

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Wednesday, 24 June 2009

Something Said In Haste: Utegate

The biggest thing Malcolm Turnbull has done wrong here is to break the cardinal rule:

If you want something done, do it yourself.

He took what I can only assume was a piece of bait handed to him in order to damage his credibility, and ran with it.  Without checking it all out himself first...

I think someone will end up charged with a crime here, so Opposition claims that Mr Rudd is using the government machine to intimidate are not really well founded.  One of the prime reasons for the government and the criminal investigative and prosecution systems is to investigate, identify, intimidate, and prosecute people who have committed a crime.  An email is a document, and forging a document, and uttering a forged document, are all crimes.

The unfortunate thing for Mr Turnbull is that he's now come off as being a premature utterer.  Would I vote for the Opposition knowing he'll be leading the country if I do?  Most emphatically not!  Imagine this scenario:

Kevin Rudd: (on the phone speaking Arabic he's just learned at TAFE and disguising his voice with an Osama burr) Meester Turmbool?  I just want you to know that I have slept with your wife, meester Turnbool.  And also, my cadre of 72 virgin suicide bombers, they also have slept with your wife and your mamma!  To show them how pointless life is, meester Turnbool!"
Malcolm Turnbull: Hello?  Defence Department?  I want us to declare war on Iran, Iraq, the Emirates, and any other place where they believe in 72 virgins and suicide bombing!  That'll show them!"
I rest my case...

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Monday, 22 June 2009

Not Green, Child...

This should be in the Zencookbook Blog but it's also funny, so it's here.  Spotted among emails I get from one of those recycle/don't waste style email lists is this message:

"Sharp Carousel Microwave 32l  works ~ just upgraded to silver one to match new kitchen  location: xxxxxxx"

Someone using a green recycle email list to feel better about buying a microwave just to match the kitchen decor is quite funny.  After all, the whole ethos is to save resources and save wastage.

Even funnier?  Their email address: "" ....  

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Some Kind Of Veges, At Any Rate.

Spotted scrolling by on the chat at Evony, server 6:

"Anyone want to join a allince? just let me know! we are the saveges"

Hehehe really?

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Friday, 12 June 2009

Super. stition.

I don't know where you stand on the touchy subject of religion. Some people regard it as an absolute truth, others as a superstition.  I don't know where I stand on the topic of an unknown, unknowable, intrinsic force of nature that has to be taken on faith and apparently is how the Universe was made.  Oh wait - that could be called God OR The Big Bang...  

You see how deeply troubling this topic can become?  If you allow yourself to believe in The Big Bang, then you have to accept that Schroedinger's Cat is both dead and alive and that you - yes you, you murdering scum! - cause it to either live or die by merely looking at it.  And if you believe in a spirit named God, then you also have to admit that ghosts, evil spirits, and all the accoutrements of superstition are equally possible.

One thing you should not do, however, is change your language on account of it.  That would be plain idiocy - oh wait - America.  What was I thinking?  Of course it's normal over there...

America - and, increasingly, Australia - is a place where they debate such deep and vexing questions such as "should nursing mothers be allowed to flop a boob out in public, maybe where other people are trying to  have dinner?" and coming up with the answer "Yes! Yes! We must not impede population explosion!" yet if someone drops his wanger out in a park at 3AM on the walk home (to avoid having to drive home drunk because by then no effing buses are running) he can be arrested for "public indecency" even if there isn't any public around for miles.  It all makes perfect sense doesn't it?  And I mean, that is despite knowing that urine has better purposes than to provide a job for some sewage treatment worker... 

As the good little prudes we are, we know that God created The Big Bang so that we would have clothes to wear and water to waste on flushing our piss.  Because if that's not the Meaning Of Life, The Universe, And Everything, then we may as well throw caution to the wind and stop burning witches and black cats...

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Monday, 8 June 2009

Curds, Cows, And Whey Whey Away.

I guess if you check TEdAMENU from time to time you'd have noticed that I've begun making soft style cheeses.  These are curdled using citric acid, lemon juice, or vinegar, each of which give their own flavour to the cheese, and which you'd know from the taste of soft cheeses like cottage cheese.

It makes for pretty small curds too, which leads to a crumblier and drier cheese.  So I'd love to source the enzyme rennet from some local stores.  What rennet does is to curdle the milk more slowly, leading to the whole milk setting into one large curd and a lot of liquid whey.  Then you can cut the curds into any size you want, controlling the smoothness and hardness of the finished cheese.

Wanting to be able to say I've sourced the rennet and the information locally, I went to Borello Cheese in Oakford and asked there if they obtained their rennet locally and if so, if their source sold hobbyist quantities.  The most unhelpful and frankly hostile shop assistant I've ever had to deal with, any thought I'd had of actually buying any of their product went out the window as she basically told me to rack off and she wouldn't pass my question on to anyone else who might be able to tell me, either.

I tried to phone the next day hoping to catch someone with slightly more manners and a damn sight more interpersonal skills and got the same cow again, so I've had zero luck so far.  I don't know what her problem is, but I tell you what, the company could do worse than sacking her with prejudice.  Did she think I'm going to start a rival creamery in a one bedroom cottage with an electric hotplate to cook on?  Pu-lleese!

This week I'll be asking a few of the friendlier local creameries, and Borello can basically go suck the whey off my curd knife.

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