The Cat Amazon

SO what can you do when your cat apparently likes boots, boxes, and a life on the West Coast?

Hello. Today I'll let Dr Furgatroyd provide the article, what with him being - you know... A cat and everything, and this being about an (attractive, he assures me that the subject is a most attractive queen) cat. And I'll include a cat classic country Youtube video down the end of the article. (After the good Doctor has finished the article, I've no wish to see my shed dust extractor project turned into a fusion reactor. Imagine the first time I turned it on and it generated power - the Men In Black would have to hunt me down and kill me, claim there was a gas leak that caused the explosion that killed everyone in a 500m radius - and Furgatroyd would just stroll out of the roiling destruction, smooth his fur, and - well, just make sure you follow the link...)

It's a slightly spooky tale, it arrived on our News desk this morning, right when we've experienced an eerie autumnal fog here. Make of that what you will, and  - take it away Dr Furgatroyd! 

A tortie cat (tortoiseshell, a cat with three colours in her coat, and I say "her" because that third colour takes away a spot normally reserved for the male gene so torties are female) survived six days on an impulse journey.

When Carrie Clark realised her cat Galena was missing she went through all the usual agonies cat owners are familiar with when cats go AWOL. Flyers posted locally in Lehi, Utah garnered no responses. Searching the neighbourhood for fuzzy speed bumps met only negative results.One bad result, one good result.

But Galena was still missing... 

For six days...

In a classic Shroedinger's Cat / Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle / the Amazon Box Dark Energy scenario, she was eventually found alive in Riverside, California, 860km southwest of her hometown Lehi. In an Amazon box. And the husband did it. (Oh crap, I think I gave it away. Did I give it away? No, luckily that didn't really give it away. Carry on!)

Bear in mind that cats naturally prefer Schroedinger's thought experiment and celebrate it at every opportunity by jumping into boxes -any boxes - that happen to be around. Especially, apparently, Amazon boxes. Their fondness for Heisenberg too they show in the way that you can only ever see where they've been by the trail of items swept to the floor; or measure their speed when they do their 3AM Zoomie Skedaddles. 

The place in Riverside where she was found was an Amazon warehouse. Six days after going missing, she was a bit dehydrated and starving hungry but otherwise seemed okay. Thanks to her chip, her family was contacted and they flew to Riverside, picked up Galena, and drove home with their blue eyed girl. 

Turns out that Mr Carrie (who, given the cat's mineral name and the fact that this story is about to deal with work boots, may have been working at a mine?) had bought several pairs of workboots from Amazon, selected the pair that fitted best, put those aside, and turned back and taped up the box to return the unneeded pairs of boots. 

You see where this is going, right? There's an accessible cardboard box. It's an Amazon box. It contains several pairs of boots, and a space where a pair of boots have been selected and taken out. A cat-sized space, in a box, an Amazon box...

Schroedinger Points In Space, Time, And Alternate Universes

Apparently that's the Schroedinger Point, that moment where two Universes intersect and create a fork, one with Galena remaining at home, and one where she gets a holiday on the West Coast. We're apparently in the latter one. We draw a discreet veil over any other possible Universes which this Schroedinger point may have brought into existence. (Sorry - Multiverses aren't "fair" or "cruel" - they just ARE. And Bad Things happen in some of them...)

Take-away Points

1. If you have a cat and a box, you have potential for a Schroedinger Point to coalesce.
2. If you feel you'll ever face such an event, get your pets chipped! It does save many animals every week.
3. If you're the husband that created the trigger conditions and then didn't perform the most basic safety precaution of looking in the box to establish the starting parameters, make sure the newspapers never get your first name, because Names Have Power. Let your wife take the flak.

Seriously - get your pet chipped. If you pack a box - any box - and you have a pet - any pet, we hear that dogs, reptiles, and some birds have been lobbying to be permitted to experience Schroedinger Point Amazon Box events. They also get under or over fences, the postie unwittingly lets them out when delivering your parcels, and may also get into laundry sacks, your gardening Wellingtons, or secrete themselves in your car while your attention.s distracted and then suddenly appear when you're on the Freeway crossing three lanes to the exit - and in this case, you're also part of the experiment...

The End (But Wait! There's More!)

Keep reading for the video link, meanwhile please share this article if you enjoyed it, and us the donation buttons to help me keep these sites online and alive.

Still waiting for that link?

Okay - here it is. Chad Morgan is an Aussie who did comedic Country music in Australia, back when "political correctness" meant voting Labor. Enjoy!