Monday, 3 August 2009

Bastard Marketing Inc #2721

I can imagine the scene.  The air in the boardroom is tense and thick with flop sweat.  The product has tanked badly in the last year, the CEO's not pleased, the CFO's wringing her hands, and the shareholders have sent sharply worded letters saying that they want their dividends.

"It's the economy! I swear, this downturn has caught us all by surprise!"
"Don't be stupid man! The economic downturn is still in our future, this is 2007!  Don't fall apart on us now!"
"But people wear closed shoes much more now, and that means our product is less in demand.  And that is a factor right now."
"... the problem is how do we create a demand for the cream?"

"Hey!  I've got it!  We package our cracked heel cream with a free pair of thongs!"

Sometimes, I swear that's the entire thinking process behind a product promotional offer.


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